Something old,
something new
(and a few things askew)
Embedded Files
By Barbara Hayn (Mother of the Bride)
And so it came to pass that my daughter Taylum, more commonly known as the editor of Local Life, got married. It all started when Taylum gave me a handmade card asking me to be her wedding planner. For Taylum of course the start is different. For her, the handmade card was preceded by the “Will you marry me?”, the “Yes!”, and the “Jandré and I are engaged”. I think she would probably like me to add a few words about the engagement but I wasn't there and I've never been very good at seeing other people's perspectives, let alone writing about them.
I accepted the invitation to be her wedding planner eagerly, excited that I would be able to let my creative side out. We visited the venue to take some photos, and while there, I made some suggestions to Taylum for decor and layout. I needn't have bothered. Taylum, her own unhinged excitement released, already had ideas for everything.
Sensing conflict somewhere down the line, I excused myself as wedding planner and said I would rather be at the wedding only as the mother of the bride. And the more I thought about it, the more I liked the idea of attending the wedding as a guest. How relaxing it would be.
The cracks in Taylum’s gusto started to show about three weeks before the wedding when her dress arrived. The dress, which was custom made to size, had been purchased online. She excitedly came to my house with the dress and put it on. It was beautiful with its flowing chiffon overlay but something didn’t look quite right – Taylum appeared to have no neck.
After a minute of internally debating the best way to inform her of this kindly and gently, I said, “You look like you don’t have a neck.” She looked devastated, not by my statement, but because she had realised it herself.
I looked at the dress from every angle trying to find a solution, my mom brain having kicked into overdrive by Taylum’s sad face. After just a few moments it hit me. “Put it on backwards!” I said. Taylum’s sad face changed into one of fear and suspicion (with just a hint of exasperation). All the same, she did as I suggested and put the dress on back to front. She looked beautiful!
Not only did it still flow elegantly but when worn this way round, the dress also regifted Taylum her neck. There was just one very small problem to contend with – the wide, thick seam that ran down what was now the bodice. “Don’t worry, I have an idea” I assured her while frantically trying to think of one.
A few days later we agreed that the best solution was to hide the seam behind beading and embellishments. I, wary of not adding to Taylum’s stress, told her that of course I could do it, and she dropped off the dress at my house looking decidedly less tense. This would not last long however as shortly thereafter she received a quotation from the florist for the wedding flowers.
As you are now, I too was confused as to why Taylum was enquiring about flower pricing just three weeks before the wedding. Part of me wanted to make a snarky comment, but seeing her face when she realised how expensive the florist would be once more sent me into mom overdrive.
“Don't worry” I said, “I'll do the flowers”.
Over the next few days Taylum’s mood became obviously lighter and I could see the excitement building in her as she began to anticipate the wedding. I was so happy to see her like that as she clearly wasn't aware of all the grumbling I was constantly doing under my breath. Not only was I very slowly stitching beads onto a dress every night but I was also trying to imagine myself as a competent florist.
Taylum had chosen the flowers she wanted – baby's breath, blushing bride and eucalyptus – and all I had to do was put together a small bouquet for her, her bridesmaids, the wedding table, the harvest table, the guest favours table, and the dinner tables, and do so with all the flower arranging skills I did not possess.
That being said, to her credit, Taylum had asked me months before if I would decorate (not bake) the wedding cake, so it was something that I was mentally prepared for. She had sent me an image of a wedding cake that she liked and I was glad to see that it was a simple and straightforward, two tier cake, dirty iced with white frosting. Decorating it would not be a problem.
Exactly two weeks before the wedding Taylum said “Oh, I almost forgot, I need to find someone to bake the cakes”. I had to consciously keep my mouth closed to prevent myself from saying anything.
As it turned out, nobody was available to bake cakes. Not the people she contacted or the people that they recommended. Taylum, utterly deflated, gave up on the idea of a wedding cake entirely. Cue mom overdrive and I unintentionally blurted out, “Don't worry, I'll do it.”
I am not oblivious to my less than desirable baking skills and so decided to use an old family recipe – not mine, Ina Paarman’s, which comes in a handy little box. I did a trial run and then messaged Taylum: “It’s not going to be a two tier cake”. She was very gracious and simply replied “Okay.”
The beading of the dress finally came to an end after hours upon loathsome hours, night after horrendous night, and with the wedding just two days away it was time to focus on the cake. I baked the cakes according to the instructions but they didn’t look anything like the picture on the box, and I did have to cut off the top, sides and bottom of each cake as they were a little dark and crunchy. It was only when trimming the last cake that I realised that dirty icing was no longer an option. I was too tired to think of a solution.
After the baking was done at around 22:00, I packed the cakes (I would be decorating them at the wedding venue the following morning ahead of the wedding at noon), and flowers in the car and sat down to make the floral cake topper with the eucalyptus and baby's breath that I had kept aside. I looked online for ideas and was confronted with the following: “Eucalyptus is toxic and should not be used to decorate cakes, as ingestion can cause harm even if removed before…”
At least I still had the baby’s breath.
“Baby's breath is toxic and should not be used directly on cakes. It can cause skin, eye, or respiratory irritation and gastrointestinal upset if ingested.”
Defeated and exhausted, I abandoned the cake topper for the night and went to bed.
I was still optimistic about creating an acceptable wedding cake when I arrived at the venue at 09:00 the following morning, and with everything prepared, including the frosting, it was now just a matter of putting it together.
The groom, Jandré, had originally wanted a chocolate cake but as I only had a recipe for cream cheese frosting, it would be vanilla.
I didn’t want to just ignore his wishes though and decided to add powdered Oreos between each layer as a surprise. It quickly became apparent to me that I was making a mess. Not only were there powdered Oreos between each layer, they were also in the frosting and on the spatula, and thus I was also smearing them all over the outside of the cake. The cake also started to look a little lopsided.
I convinced myself that it must be the frosting between the cakes that was softening and causing the cake to lean. At any rate, I was glad to be able to use that thought as an excuse to shove the cake into the fridge to ‘chill’ and walk away. I decided that I would pounce on Taylum’s sister when she arrived and beg her for help.
I headed to the room that Taylum was staying in to say good morning. She was seated in a chair having her make-up done, her hair already styled. She looked almost magically beautiful. She was totally calm without a hint of apprehension about the impending “I do's”, and utterly oblivious to the chaos going on outside her sanctuary.
The weather had warmed up and I exchanged the jersey I was wearing for a towel, and sat down on the couch still looking at Taylum.
It hit me that this was exactly how it was supposed to be. A daughter having one day where she can perfectly enjoy and take in all the moments that are so fleeting, and a mother watching her while realising that the correct word for “mom overdrive” is love.
Though I had taken on more than I could possibly handle, it was not lost on me that while I had been swearing at beads that kept slipping out of my fingers, and crying about not being able to thread the needle because I couldn't see the invisible thread, Taylum had been putting together the entire previous edition of Local Life, including my work, on her own from start to finish, and never said a word.
She is magically beautiful inside and out.
Jandré arrived outside the room for the ‘First Look’. He faced away, both nervous and excited, waiting for me to count him down so that he could turn around and see his beautiful bride for the first time. 3, 2, 1…
He turned, his face filled with raw emotion which was quickly replaced with utter shock as he faced his colleague, James, who stood there dressed in a wedding gown and a veil. The best way to describe what happened next is to say that Jandré ‘broke’. He fell to his knees laughing, and then onto his back.
Shortly thereafter the ceremony started, and just like the engagement it contained exactly what one would expect – tears, “I do’s”, love and laughter. Enough said.
The reception area looked absolutely stunning with eucalyptus, fairy lights, glass, and touches of white and blush pink against a backdrop of wooden tables and exposed wooden beams. The space perfectly accommodated two long tables for the guests. The bride's family and friends were seated at one and the groom's at the other.
After lunch had been served and eaten, I heard a commotion coming from the groom's side. A sudden loud exclaim from the Best Man of "You B**ch filled the air.
I noticed a cell phone propped up sideways screening a rugby match and several guests on the groom's side watching. At first I was taken aback, perhaps even slightly offended, but then I had to concede that the bride's family was sneakily but regularly checking their phones for F1 qualifying updates. I think I was probably more offended that anyone would choose rugby over F1.
Immediately after the Best Man's booming exclamation, I had looked at one of the servers, "that's not my side of the family" I laughed. He didn't pause for a second before saying, "you're all family now". Touché.
When it came time to cut the cake I sidled up to Taylum. “I don’t think you should cut it” I said, explaining that the heat had softened the icing and that I was concerned that the pressure of the knife would simply cause a layer of cake to slide right out. “It lacks structural integrity.” Taylum was completely unbothered by this turn of events. She asked what she and her new husband should use as a substitute. I pointed to the cinnamon buns which Anton and Susan from BROOD had kindly gifted for the wedding. Taylum and Jandré each picked one up and proceeded to feed each other.
Cinnamon buns however do not behave like sponge cake in one's mouth – they require a substantially greater commitment to chewing. This was ideal for the photographer as she had a lot more time to capture the 'moment'. The guests stood awkwardly waiting for the chewing to end.
With the feeding photos successfully taken, it was safe to cut the cake and I suggested they do so. Taylum looked at Jandré and saw that he had just taken another bite of the cinnamon bun. "Stop eating!"
If I were writing a book I could tell you much more about Taylum and Jandré’s special day, but because I am constrained for space, I can only offer some advice should anyone ever need it for just such an occasion:
If, as a final solution, you throw handfuls of Oreo powder at the cake, it is a real pain to clean up the counter afterwards.
Should the officiant forget the bride and groom's surname when presenting them as ‘Mr and Mrs’, and simply uses a different surname, it's forgivable when said in a French accent.
A grandfather has all the skills necessary to fashion his handkerchief into a makeshift hat to protect himself from the sun.
It is possible that a one-year-old ring bearer simply won’t hold the small hessian bag that contains the rings.
You may come across the bride hiding in the kitchen, sitting on an upside down crate, eating wedding cake.
Since Taylum or I are so often behind the camera, photos of us together are rare. This picture, taken at the wedding, is my favourite – it captures the exact moment when I realised she's no longer my problem.
Thank you to everyone who made the wedding day so very special – all the unexpected gifts for the wedding, the eagerness to help, the support shown and given, and all the warm wishes from our very special Whale Coast community.
Page updated
Google Sites
Report abuse